The modern woman is strong, sassy and not afraid to flaunt her sexuality but when it comes to discussing fantasies, all too often it can be a very different matter.
Sexual fantasies are often still a taboo, unspoken and secret, even between couples. Yet there’s no reason to be coy about sexual fantasies, everyone has them, and you’d be surprised at just how wild some of them are.
Here’s a look at women’s hidden sex fantasies and why there’s no need to keep them to yourself.
Fantasy not reality
All too often, fantasies become the subject of embarrassment because their very nature can be particularly erotic, and maybe even involve certain taboos. Acting in a provocative manner, exposing yourself or even extreme themes such as bestiality or forced intercourse is by no means rare, but the woman who experiences them may feel as if her thoughts are “wrong”.
It’s nice if somebody wants to be your sexual fantasy, sometimes fantasy and reality can get confused though. The important thing to recognise is that sexual fantasies are exactly that, just fantasies, and enjoying the thought doesn’t mean that you’d like it to come true. Quite the reverse: for many people – even those who experience less extreme fantasies – would be horrified at the idea of acting them out in real life.
Fantasies often have a hidden psychological hook back to our childhood, even if it’s not always obvious, and allowing your imagination to run in whatever direction it chooses is healthy and also helpful.
So whether it’s sex with a stranger, a threesome or having sex with another woman, there’s no shame to be felt in having a fertile fantasy world.
Act them out – in a safe way
Of course, although some fantasies would be far less seductive if acted out in real life, there are some which can form the basis for sexy role play in the bedroom. Sharing a sexual fantasy with your partner could lead to some seriously mind-blowing fun between the sheets.
If the idea of being dominated has always made you hot, then why not try it out in the safety of your own bedroom. It’s easy to buy some blindfolds, ties and even paddles or gags; get your partner to take control and play out your deepest, darkest fantasies together. Don’t forget to arrange a safe word in advance so that you can stop when you want to.
Another great prop is sexy costumes; depending on how saucy these are, you could even wear them out in public. If you’ve always dreamt of being seduced by a police officer, or of acting like a naughty nurse, get the outfits and live out your fantasy with your lover.
What women like
Your sexual fantasies are as unique as you are, and there’s no right or wrong way to fantasise. However, there are some common themes which regularly crop up in female fantasies.
A recent study of both men’s and women’s fantasies in 2014 revealed the top ten subjects which were the most likely to crop up:
Having sex in a different place, or an unusual location, oral sex, and masturbation were all common themes but researchers found that domination and submission themes such as being tied up, spanking and forced sex occurred in up to 60% of fantasies described by women.
Less common fantasies included exhibitionism, sex with a stripper or prostitute, sex with an animal and sexually assaulting someone who was unconscious, asleep or drunk.
Researchers said that whilst some fantasies were more common than others, there were almost none that were statistically unusual or rare. So no matter how kinky your secret fantasy is, there’s a very good chance that there’s lots of other women thinking about something pretty similar.
No-one is suggesting that you should broadcast your sexual fantasies to all and sundry but talking about them with a trusted sexual partner can bring real rewards. Whether it’s acting aspects out together in your own bedroom, or just cranking up the temperature by talking sexy, there are lots of good reasons to bring your secret fantasies out into the open.
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Image Credits: Molly Coath and Andrea Kears