Up until Mr. Grey strode onto the scene, the women’s chick lit market was a fairly tame affair. But with tales of bondage, domination and extreme sex play, a whole generation of women are now looking at sex in an entirely different way.
Most women may have experienced the very occasional slap to the derriere during sex, particularly in the doggy position, but being spanked is far more than just the odd smack here and there.
For the naughty girls out there who want to explore the darker side of sex, here’s a beginner’s guide to being spanked.
Spanking joy for naughty girls
If someone slapped you outside the bedroom, the chances are that you’d be feeling pretty outraged so what is it about sexual spanking that is just so darned good?
On a purely physical level, there’s one explanation. Spanking automatically increases the blood flow to the area; this inevitably includes the nearby genitals, heightening the feelings of arousal.
Naughty girls need to be spanked!
But it’s far more than just a biological reaction. For many men and women there’s something naughty and forbidden about spanking; it’s a taboo subject. This in itself can be almost irresistible.
Add to the equation the lure of being punished and powerless, and you have a very understandable explanation as to why spanking is painful….but ooh, ooh ooh so popular.
The spanking etiquette
It’s a good idea to discuss it before you get started, and it’s really not a good idea to try it with a sexual partner you don’t know very well. Spanking games can get out of hand and you need to trust the person you are with.
Like all slightly naughty sexual acts, it’s helpful to have a code word which you agree in advance. Your partner might be moaning ‘stop’ but this is the last thing she wants you to do. Make sure there’s no confusion and you are both happy with what you’ve agreed.
Spanking should be part of the sex and something you ease into as you become aroused. Doing it at the beginning is likely to feel nothing more than painful and you’ll wonder where the attraction lies!
When you’re sexually aroused you’re more receptive to the pleasures involved in pain so spank as the sexual tension builds and ease off when arousal levels start to drop.
Spank me, you know I love it!
Don’t be tempted to wade in straight away with a Catonine, whip or paddle. There’s plenty of time to introduce these kind of sex toys as you both get used to the sensations of spanking. Start by using your hand, gently tickling at first and gradually increasing the pressure.
Cupping the hand and using an upward stroke typically produces the best sensations. Confuse and titillate by alternating a swift spank with immediate stroking and caressing of the genitals and the slapped area.
Ultimately you’ll be aiming for the spanking to occur every few seconds but it’s a good idea to mix up the intensity and the frequency. This builds anticipation, increasing arousal further.
Let your inhibitions go
One of the best ways to start spanking is to introduce it as part of an overall role play. Get dressed up in some sexy costumes and let your inhibitions go. It might help to have a glass of wine or a drink to help relax you the first time you try it.
Getting dressed up for role play really does help, even if it’s just some naughty lingerie rather than a full outfit.
Building the anticipation and setting the mood will help you feel aroused before you even start, which will help make it feel even more enjoyable.
Mix it up
How you carry out the spanking fetish really is a matter of personal taste so let your imagination run wild and do what feels right. On all fours, bent over a chair or even leant over your knees – and for the more flexible – touching their toes.
As you progress you might want to start thinking about introducing a blindfold and some gentle tying up to heighten the feelings of helplessness.
A spanking fetish can be as gentle or as fierce as you want and the great thing about it is that it’s a great equaliser.
Either the man or the woman can be dominated and spanked and very often the preference in the bedroom is diametrically opposed to behaviour outside it. Being in charge all the time can be wearing so relinquishing sexual control to your partner and letting them spank you can provide a great release in more than one way.
So there you have it – the naughty girl’s guide to spanking. Go ahead and discover the erotic delights that many already enjoy and don’t forget to check out our Fifty Shades of Grey and Bondage Sex Toys…
Image Credits: Andyspb and Rachel Kramer Bussel